There are several fine, outstanding leaders in the Democratic party that are often mentioned as potential running mates for Senator Obama. These range from almost all of his former primary rivals (although, lets face it, Mike Gravel has less of a chance of being chosen as Obama’s VP than Jerome Bettis does) to current Senators and Governors, even to independents (Bloomberg), Republicans (Hagel) and retired military (Clark).

As we already know, Jerome provides tremendous working-class appeal and brings a geographic advantage to Pennsylvania and Michigan. Clearly this should make him the most obvious choice, yet for some reason the so-called experts keep insisting on bandying about names like Indiana Senator Evan Bayh, New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, Kansas Governor Kathy Sebelius, and Virginia Senator Jim Webb.

So in the interests of fairness I created the following table that allows us to compare the accomplishments of each of these outstanding leaders, to determine which would be the best fit for the ticket:

 

	Bettis	Bayh	Richardson	Sebelius	Webb
Rushing yards	13,662	?	0	0	0
Rushing TDs	91	?	0	0	0
Receiving yards	1,449	?	0	0	0
Receiving TDs	3	?	0	0	0
Pro-bowl appearances	6	0	0	0	0
Superbowl rings	1	0	0	0	0

Evan Bayh played football at St. Albans, but no record of his stats are available. Even if he did manage to rack up more career yards than the NFL’s 5th leading all-time rusher, he still doesn’t have a superbowl ring. So bye-bye Bayh

Bill Richardson played baseball in his fancy Massachusetts prep school. Baseball. That’s about a step and a half from playing croquet while eating watercress sandwiches. What the hell is watercress anyway? Something Bill Richardson doesn’t want you to know about, that’s what.

Kathy Sebelius could be given a pass on some of these crucial stats, given her gender and all. But then I found out that she’s from Cincinnati. Hey Cin-Sebelius, this one’s for you:

Jim Webb actually lettered in boxing while at Annapolis, and apparently fought Ollie North at one point. And while he doesn’t have a superbowl ring, he has a navy cross, a silver star, two bronze stars, and two purple hearts. But you know who else had purple hearts, bronze and silver stars? John Kerry. And we all remember how well that turned out.

So once again we can clearly see that Jerome Bettis is the best possible vice presidential running mate for Barack Obama. Now if only the biased mainstream media can stop pushing these Washington insiders on us and embrace real change. Oh sure, they use big fancy words like “electability”, “legislative accomplishments”, and “executive experience”. Well you know what I say to them?

Get on the bus! 

This entry was posted on Monday, June 16th, 2008 at 2:29 pm and is filed under bill richardson, evan bayh, jerome bettis, jim webb, kathy sebelius. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.